Why some people don't like to discuss how much money they make

This is really a filler blog because I keep thinking of something new to put on this one and haven't been able to think of much lately. I have been either just doing silly family stuff or Helium lately (it pays much much better) and am neglecting all of my important pointificating.

But I have often wondered in the past why I never seem to get the etiquette right when it comes to the appropriateness of mentioning to the actual number how much money Slade makes. I didn't really see anything wrong with it really, certainly when he only made 3.35 no one else thought it was a problem either. People love to talk about how much they pay for things and save with coupons and such, and in general people like to talk about their talents and accomplishments at certain things. If someone is young or pretty or thin often they like to talk about it. Or if they have run a certain number of miles or made a certain number of quilts. And in this case I wouldn't be even talking about my own accomplishments at all because I am pretty much a freeloader at the moment.

Some people argue that they don't want to know how much people make because it would make them have bad feelings toward that person if the other person made more. I can't say as I sympathize with that, nor does my husband. Slade and I would absolutely never have bad feelings toward anyone else no matter how much more than us they made. But when I slipped one time and miscalculated after Slade started working and mentioned his income and I got a big verbal spanking from a certain relative, it has made me think about why ever since. Especially when I heard that relative saying how proud they were of another person for the good money they made, it made me wonder when it is ok to talk about salary without any such censure.

Then it hit me. People like to not know the specific dollar amount that someone makes nor do they like to reveal how much they themselves make because some people like to speculate about others' incomes, and of course it is much more fun and flexible to do so without conclusive proof to end their fun. And many others and often the same people like to mischaractarise their own incomes. The I'm so poor and can't afford anything game. Particularly things that they don't want to afford.

This is why I haven't liked the whole income taboo, and certainly not because we make a lot of money at all. It is because I hate these kind of games. I really don't want to characterize or mischaracterize my own financial situation at all beyond what it actually is, nor am I interested at all in what anyone else makes particularly if I weren't actually right about what I thought. If I had any actual opinions on someone else's income which I really am not interested in anyway, I wouldn't want it to be based on idle speculation.

I say, if people really feel that it is taboo to discuss incomes, they should extend that to even vague discussion of them including people saying they are poor and can't afford things like everyone else supposedly can. I also hate it when people say oh they or you can obviously afford x when they don't know what they are talking about and interestingly they don't seem to want to know. I feel that if someone doesn't want me to know an actual number, they shouldn't expect me to believe them when they tell me how poor they are. And if someone wants to speculate that someone else is so rich then they should be willing to look at the sad truth of their tax statement, and certainly not be offended that someone is breeching social ettiquette if they simply want to have people talking about how much money they have and not being right. If people think that incomes are so taboo that I would actually vote for them not talking about them at all, but ironically it is the same people that love to speculate and hate to know. It has to be for these reasons, otherwise it doesn't make sense. In fact I am quite sure that this is why the person that I offended was offended, because it ended her ability to speculate that we might be in fat city and that was no fun.

It is all in the numbers folks. I should say it is all in the careful avoidance in order to characterize the numbers. I say total openness or don't use lack of knowledge to help you say something critical of another person. Just my two cents, or however much, I am not saying.

Of course if I am not yet right about this I would like to hear other theories, but I really think this is it. Nothing else makes as much sense or is as consistent with people's behavior.